What does freedom actually feel like?
In what feels like a post-apocalyptic world, standing in the light, standing in freedom, is revolutionary.
It is early evening, on a warm spring day. The sun feels thick and joyous today, like she’s an old friend who’s missed me, hugging me tight. I am so utterly comfortable in my body, in this skin, sitting with ease as these words flow to the sounds of wind chimes behind me, birds chirping above. I have no one to answer to, no tasks calling my name. I am free.
In a society that incessantly talks about freedom, a country that claims to be free, amidst movements that “fight” for freedom—what does it actually look like to be free? What does freedom feel like? How can we be free right here, right now, when systems of oppression still exist?
Freedom is something I’ve ruminated on intellectually, creatively, and spiritually for the entirety of my adulthood—and it hasn’t been until this most recent phase of my life where I actually feel it, fully embodied. Freedom as a state of being. Freedom as not searching. Freedom as a deep sense of peace and contentment.
This morning, I opened up my “Personal Vision of Greatness,” a 5-year vision I had created in 2020. I noticed that the heart of it described how I want to feel—and what I was describing was freedom. A snippet:
I feel no urge to open up my email, Instagram, or respond to any messages. I let my body, my creativity, and my own energy determine the flow of my day. I don't have to answer to a manager or even a partner—they trust me, give me independence, and know that I will get my work done on time and exceptionally. My days are full of flow, ease, luxury, and sensuality—not urgency, anxiety, or stress.
Today I celebrate having “accomplished” my 5-year vision, along with the realization that freedom is not to be accomplished, but rather felt in the present moment.
In addition to the luxurious ways freedom is achieved (resting, slowing down, taking good care of yourself), freedom cannot be felt without acknowledging the ever-present shadow. Intimately examining and caring for pain & suffering (both mine & the collective’s) has given me a deep understanding of pain, and therefore compassion for people who cause pain. Now, I see the people who have been cruel to me, or the perpetrators of violence I read about in the news, as products of trauma, white supremacy, and capitalism. This releases my personal stake with characters and drama that used to consume me.
In what feels like a post-apocalyptic world, standing in the light, standing in freedom, is revolutionary. It is only from this place of clarity, groundedness, ease, joy, and contentment, can we actually build the relationships, systems of care, and world we deserve to live in.
Journaling prompts for you:
Imagine my perfect day, where I feel utterly and joyously FREE. I wake up…what’s next?
What does freedom look like for me? Feel like? How will I know I’ve arrived at freedom?
How can I achieve freedom right here, right now?
If you use these prompts, let me know—it would make me so happy! You can also tag me with thoughts on social if you want to be in dialogue about what’s arising for you.
Wishing you deep breaths and ease,
Katerina
