Upgrading my system
What growth have you witnessed in quarantine that you want to take with you?
Hello, dear friend and welcome to this space.
As you read these words, take a big, deep belly breath—the deepest one you’ve taken all day—hold it at the top...and let it out with any sound your body calls for you to make.
My intention for this newsletter is to share what I’m learning, how I’m evolving, and the thoughts + information swirling around my orbit. I don’t take my space in your inbox and your brain lightly—know that these letters are only written when I am spoken to and called to share, all in service of helping you on your journey.
This week, I’ve been thinking about the wobbly world of reopening after the pandemic—the collective grief and trauma that may not have been properly mourned and processed, the mismatched levels of comfort and safety each individual feels, the social anxiety and energetic frenzy of interacting with others after over a year in isolation. I’ve also been thinking about the life-altering learnings I have embodied over the past year. I am extremely privileged and was able to quarantine safely in my home—a home that I transformed into a spiritual sanctuary, allowing me to blossom into what I believe is my fullest, most alive, and most wild self.
I believe in the power of language to manifest the unsaid into reality, and so, here are some things I’ve witnessed in the past year that I want to take with me as society “returns to normal”:
A one-ness with nature.
My daily walks have become a form of meditation. I love drinking in the baby blue sky and noticing what shape the clouds are in. Watching the Aspen leaves shimmer in the wind. Saying hello to the great, wise trees that offer shade amidst the summer sun. Pausing to take deep breaths when a sweet scent wafts my way. Touching flowers and plants that call my name, reveling in admiration as my fingers intertwine with their lush, leafy abundance. Basking in pure reverence for the many, gorgeous forms nature treats us with.
I now know that I am an extension of nature, and that nature is an extension of me. I cannot un-know the striking similarity between my lungs and the trees; the fact that we live and die with this planet; or the painful reality that our Earth is screaming out in desperation, as we have been harming our home—a home that has selflessly kept us alive in abundance—in irreparable ways for far too long.
Staying grounded in my energy.
In quarantine, I practiced energetic sovereignty—learning how to steep in my own energy, discern the energy of others, and consciously choose whether or not + how to engage with other energy. The solitude of quarantine coupled with being single for most of it made this easier to accomplish. As someone who has been in long-term relationships for most of my adult life, I never really knew what my own, interrupted energy felt like until now...and it is hands-down, my favorite energy to be enveloped in. My energy is vibrant, a yolky orange. It is powerful, beautiful, and otherworldly. It is available to me at all times.
I’ve established daily rituals that connect me to source first thing in the morning + help me stay connected throughout the day, gotten much better at establishing boundaries and saying “no,” discovered the activities + people that actually make me feel fulfilled, and reaped the healing benefits of what time alone does for my wellbeing, creativity, and expansion. I’m not willing to sacrifice any of this growth simply because our society is opening back up, and am trying to be as conscious as possible of maintaining my energetic sovereignty as I engage in more social connection.
Quiet confidence and pure alignment.
There have been countless moments over the past few months where I’ve felt a swell of emotion, completely drenched in overwhelming gratitude and a deep sense of purpose. I realize that I’m doing the work I want to be known for when I’m gone, and that my past—including my past pain and trauma—is why I am here today. Tragedy has made me understand that I can rise from anything; that I am safe and taken care of with myself; and that it is crucial in shaping my magic and my power.
This time of introspection has also made me appreciate my gifts, and understand how I can use them to help others. While we all have things to work on, we are, at our core, innately whole and perfect, and we each have something uniquely beautiful and divine to offer. Knowing this has given me a steadfast confidence—in my realms of expertise, in my ministry, I am the real fucking deal! I am EVERYTHING! (toot toot, I hope my horn tooting is inspiring you to toot your own horn too!)
Interbeing.
Last but certainly not least, I know that a safe, beautiful, and abundant world is possible. I’ve witnessed it especially over the last year—at rallies, through art and expression, and through everyday synchronicities that I am now awake to receiving. The concept of “interbeing” helps me put these amorphous feelings into language, and has given me a conceptual framework for understanding how to transform these glimpses of a better world into a tangible reality for all.
In a recent workshop, poet John Brehm explained to us that Newtonian theory (which is what Western society currently ascribes to) argues that change happens by applying force, which perpetuates the logic (and myth) of separation. The belief that we are separate entities that can be changed through force is the root of our suffering, and the suffering we inflict on others and the planet.
Alternatively, Buddhist philosophy teaches that every bit of awakening changes the whole energetic field—which is a truth I have experienced firsthand. Interbeing goes beyond interconnectedness (which implies that we are separate entities who are connected), and is the deep knowing that we are one with the earth, and every living being. Knowing and acting from this truth is what will create the world we wish to live in.
This short video (6 minutes) of Charles Eisenstein helped me grasp moving from the story of separation to the story of interbeing in a resonant way.
As you “re-enter” into society, I encourage you to be intentional about how you transition. What have you lost in the pandemic, and what do you need in order to grieve and heal from it? What have you learned in quarantine that you want to take with you? How can you help ensure that we don’t forget the tragedies that occurred in 2020, and honor your commitments to creating a safer and more joyful world for all?
Wishing you wellness and ease as you let these thoughts marinate.
With love,
Katerina
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