on soul animals
& clementine's adoption story 🐈
Just as certain humans are meant to be a part of our lives, I believe we are also meant to meet certain animals. I think back to Jessie, the Lebanese mountain dog who whined for us outside our guest room and chased our car back to Beirut as long as she could manage; and Cow, our Turkish villa kitty who’d follow us step-by-step and listen to us as if she understood English. Of course, I think of Roo (properly known as Hunter), my 10-year old dog. Roo lived with me through an abusive relationship and never left my side, even when he was scared. In the years following, we healed together, learning that we are safe with each other. The bond between us is unbreakable, as is any animal who’s seen you through terrifying darkness—in many ways, I owe my resilience and joy to him.
Over the past year, I started casually searching for a sibling for Roo, putting in unsuccessful adoption applications here and there. It wasn’t until a few months ago that the search got serious—I fell in love with a senior gray cat at a nearby shelter, only to have my heart broken. With boxes full of unused cat things, my partner and I started visiting cats at multiple shelters weekly. Then, on a sunny August day, we met Clementine.
The first time we entered the shelter room, Clementine came straight up to me and crawled underneath my dress, rubbing his fuzzy cheeks on the edges of my sandals. As we got to know all the cats in the room, he kept crawling into our laps again & again, perfectly content as a little loaf. My partner nudged me, saying “Hey, this guy’s pretty cute,” but I had read a description saying the orange cat was a staff favorite, warmly greeting every visitor. I didn’t want a cat who chose everyone—I wanted a cat who chose me.
It turns out the description I read was for another orange cat, and Clementine’s description simply said “I’m still getting used to my new shelter home so I’m a little shy and nervous. Come meet me soon!” I then realized we were very much chosen by this tiny senior cat, so we inquired about him at the front desk. We learned that he was transferred from another shelter and has a history of house soiling—apparently, his previous owners tried everything they could to remedy his problematic behavior to no avail. With a lot to think about, we took a few weeks to make our decision before finally bringing him home.
Bringing Clementine home honestly felt like welcoming a new baby (though a tiny fraction of what that will actually be like, which has given me so much empathy for my friends who are new parents). We did a ton of internet research, including researching the best cat products, how to introduce a cat to a dog, and how to alleviate allergies as I’ve been allergic to cats most of my life. There were so many moments I thought, “Wait, are we making a smart decision?!” In addition to Clementine’s problematic history, bringing home a new pet also means a change in lifestyle, more financial responsibility, and a commitment to care for them for the rest of their lives. We finally concluded that we can do the most research, and the most wondering (What if he doesn’t get along with Roo? What if he continues to house soil and we can’t figure it out? What if my allergies are so bad we have no choice but to re-home him?)…but at the end of the day, the best thing we can do is give him a chance.
Clementine and I were both extremely nervous his first few days home—we kept him in the bathroom with the door closed, and let him acclimate to the new smells & sounds without too much interruption. With time, we’ve both relaxed. He loves his meal time and waits at his food bowl like a golden retriever, and is learning that we have dedicated cuddle & play time before bed. I’ve also started napping with him, and feeling tiny paws make biscuits on my belly as we’re both snuggled on the couch brings a level of contentment I’ve never experienced before. As imperfect as he is, he feels like our perfect cat.
We’ve seen a lot of progress in Clementine’s first few weeks home (including my cat allergies, as it seems I've acclimated to him in just three weeks!*)—and also, we still have a long way to go. Roo and Clementine are extremely wary of each other, and are nowhere close to being friends; and Clemmy marked the floor for the first time as we’ve let him explore and own more of the home. My anxious mind often takes over, ruminating on how much more progress I want to see, or worst case scenarios—but something deep inside is telling me that Clementine chose us for a reason. I can’t imagine what he must’ve gone through, being abandoned by his owners at 10 years old, or being transferred from shelter to shelter. A cat person at another shelter said we most likely saved his life—not many people want to take in a senior cat with a history of house soiling, and there’s a good chance he would’ve have been euthanized if we hadn’t adopted him.
Something larger than my worries is telling me that an anxious human is the perfect caretaker for an anxious cat, and that our household has the patience, calmness, and love Clementine needs to thrive. Something tells me that we’re all going to be just fine.
** For folks looking to remedy cat allergies, I’ve been using Pacagen (an allergy spray that neutralizes the Fel d1 protein, which is what most people are allergic to in cats) and feeding Clementine a tablespoon of egg powder with his dinner (from chickens who have been raised with cats, which apparently neutralizes the protein as well). The first two weeks, I took this generic & very inexpensive antihistamine, Chlorpheniramine Maleate, which worked way better than the name-brand allergy meds I used before. None of this is sponsored—I just want more people to be able to enjoy kitty cats!
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